I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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