nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
