And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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