Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i now understand why vodka
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
