Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
