He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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