Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
