Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
