Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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