I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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