ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
