she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
