a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Don't make out with my wife yet
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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