I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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