there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
