i already hear my dad disowning me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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