i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
