It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Success! We fucked roommates!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
