Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
