he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
