remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
