the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize