I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
