it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize