I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
