i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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