don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
