So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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