Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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