thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
