i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
