So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
