I looked at my own cervix.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
