I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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