I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There are leaves in my underwear?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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