Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
