Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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