ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
