Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
