Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
