You work out of a Hotel?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
