I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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