I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize