Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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