Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
