well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
