Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
