Only a mothe r could love this liver
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
