i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
