Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
