I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
