haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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