I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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