just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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