So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need water and some morals
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
