I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
wanna go halves on a baby?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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