Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize