I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
