I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
