im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
