Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
