I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
