ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My ass is underappreciated
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize